We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
