Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
