'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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