I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
