just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hippo gnu deer
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
