Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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