I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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