He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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