jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
