well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
