Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
