do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
