so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
