The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
