her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
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