I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
