never play flip cup with pint glasses
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
