Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
