i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
