I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She announced her abortion via fbk
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
