puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
