It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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