how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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