The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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