This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Don't tell me you're on acid again
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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