went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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