he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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