We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
