giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
