Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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