Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
