My brain says no but my pants say off.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
