I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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