how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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