you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
