hotel room ftw
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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