Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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