I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
