These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
