butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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