he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
