3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
