Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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