sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
