I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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