you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
