VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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