This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
