i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
