Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
