Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It's Friday. Sex?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
