there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
