I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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